||It is a prime overriding duty to contact other lifeforms,
exchange information, and, whenever possible, bring them home.
||By joining Star Corps, each individual tacitly consents to give
up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
||The ship's computer may be replaced when its actions lead to
the grossendangerment of personnel.
||Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel
except on production of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer,
who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.
||States that in a emergency hologram situation, the holograms
must be placed on a time share schedule.
||States that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic
crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive.
||All quarantine berths must provide minimum leisure activities.
||Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a
shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
||A Crew member must work to earn credits for food.
||In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of
equal rank, seniority will be granted to whichever officer can program a VCR.
||Allows you to keep people in Quarantine for a period of 3
months, however, if the people can use Space Corps Directive 699 to demand a re-screening
after five days, if no trace of disease is found they can leave Quarantine.
||One berth per registered crew member
||A quarantined crew member can request a re-screening after a
period no less than 5 days.
||Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.
||Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe
cannot be claimed as overtime.
||During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised
about any crew member whose timesheet shows him/her clocking off 187 years before he/she
||No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a
||No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid
belt without deflectors.
||No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go
into combat with pierced nipples.
||A crew member is unable to enter the ship for the safety of the
crew whenin an area of chameleonic lifeforms.
||A rabbi shall sacrifice one or more chickens in an attempt to
solve a crisis situation.
||To preserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers
above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a
pair of false breasts.
||The log must be kept up to date at all times with current
service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew
birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in
the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
||No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero
||Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.
||Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle
in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.